I am recently divorced and though there are times I feel like dying, I am sure that I will get through this. I would describe marriage as a roller coaster; it has its ups and downs. Often in my marriage I wasn't sure if I was going up while he was going down or vise versa.
I met my now ex-husband in high school, though we both attended the same school district our whole lives. From the beginning it was intense; we fought and made up more times than I could count. Strangely though, I knew he was the one I would marry, from the time of our first date. We married in August 1997, in a small back yard wedding. Our daughter had turned 2 a few months before. Our marriage wasn't perfect; in fact we had lots of issues that eventually led to us signing our divorce papers in August 2008.
Our divorce wasn’t a mean or nasty divorce, and actually neither one us hired an attorney. We worked everything out with each other and filed though an agency so we didn’t even have to make a court appearance. I was ok with the divorce the whole time we talked about it, when we discussed it with our daughter and the family. It was after the signing that I realized divorce sucks. Something happened to me when I signed my name on that dotted line...it was so legal...so FINAL.
I cried for days. I cried driving to work and home from work. I cried in bed. Pretty much everything made me cry. Made me think of him and us, and I would cry. I replayed conversations over and over again. I obsessed about what I could have done differently. While, I still think about it a lot and I cry sometime, I am thankful that we have remained friends. And I am in fact divorced not dying.