Week 3/4-Check in

The last few weeks have been a real struggle. Some major life changes have taken place and I feel a bit out of sorts. My head has either been up in the clouds daydreaming of backpacking through Europe or in a state of panic.

I've made progress in the challenge, though again not as much as I would like. This seems to be a common theme for me...boo!

Currently, I'm at 8 "real" push-ups. Added to that I am doing counter push-ups and am at 3 sets of 17 (2x a day). I started out at 2 sets of 10 (1x a day), so I feel good about this!

On another plus, I'm averaging over 3 miles a day walking or wogging. I completed the Seattle Hot Chocolate 5k on March 3rd.

Here's to Week 5.

Chin up, Chest out & ATTACK!

Week 2-Check in

This challenge has been difficult, not only because it is hard.  Also, because I seem to be having the worst luck.

Here is the break down:  Truck battery died, left me stranded (fun).  Broke a tooth (more fun).  By Friday of last week I was bitchy and in pain, so I finally went to the dentist.  Well my broke tooth was fractured in such a way that they had to do an emergency extraction (sooo much fun).

What that boils down to is I made a ton of excuses as to why I couldn't do the push-ups this week.  Yes, I know exercise is a great stress relief.  I just wasn't feeling it.

Here is what I did do....2 days of 4 push-ups.  Since 4 seems to be my max.  Week 3 goal is #6.

I also decided that I need to do something else...since I am getting super frustrated with not improving as fast as I think I should.  This week I am adding modified push-ups.

Not "girly" push-ups...counter push-ups.  This will help me build some (much needed) upper body strength and I will feel like I am actually making progress. Like the one in the picture, only using my kitchen counter not the wall.



So, let's get out there and DO this.  Chin UP, Chest out, and ATTACK!

Week 1-Check in

SOOOO Week 1, was not what I expected or what I would have liked.  Here's the good, the bad and the ugly.

Good-I am up to 4 push-ups (started at 2, so progress).

Bad- I only did the challenge 2 days out of 7 last week.  I am lacking some serious motivation and have been dealing with some "new" headaches (that's part of the ugly).

Ugly-My form is something to be desired, and I could probably do more push-ups if I wasn't so intent on doing them right :)  I have been dealing with a "new" type of headache.  I should say that I have daily headaches and migraines several times a month (I have for years) and I can deal with those.  These "new" ones are kicking my rear, I spent more than 48 hours in bed and the rest of the time wishing I was.  Trying to figure out where they are coming from, and the only thing that I can think of is that I have been exercising more. HA, isn't exercise supposed to be good for you?

That leads me to Week 2.  I keep going back and forth between starting week 2 and redoing week 1.  Well since, I am starting tonight I better decide.

The No “Girly” Push-Ups Challenge!

So I have decided to take part in a challenge, called the No "girly" push-ups challenge.  I first heard about it on Twitter and then found it on Alex's blog (Alex tries it out and several others, she was just first).

This morning was Day 1.  I am way out of shape and could barely do 2 push ups. Yes,  you read that right TWO!  I fully understand that 2 is better than 0, but I am still not happy with myself.

Anyone that knows me, knows I am not a morning person...so that fact that I tried this in the morning should say something about how I am dedicated to making changes in my life.  I don't know that I will succeed in this challenge of 100 push-ups by the middle of March 2013.  But I will succeed in being able to do more than TWO!

I used the website (100 pushups)  to determine my level.  I am at a 1, which means I can do less than 5 push ups.  My goal is to at least be at a 4 by the end of the challenge.

Motivation Monday

Sometimes motivation comes from a likely source be it a spouse, a family member, a friend or from within yourself. And sometimes it comes from a virtual stranger.

Last week, when I was discussing my lack of motivation a friend in an online group gave me the following advise: Chin up, Chest out & Attack!

At first, I thought it was an odd quote. But the more I repeated it to myself, the more it motivated me. I do in fact feel better when I have my chin up. I see more things around me and simply enjoy more. Chest out...that makes me feel tough, like I can conquer anything that comes my way. Attack the issue!

Everyday since then, I have repeated it. While I have a long way to go to meet my goals, I feel strong enough to chip away at them. There really is something to be said about self assurance.

"Chin up, Chest out & Attack"

Baggage

(Photo Credit)

A few days ago, I started following a blog by Lea, its called Running For Dummies. She posted a transparency challenge, a what are you afraid of or what do you hesitate for people to know about you.  Her post can be found here: Running for dummies

In an effort to better understand myself and why I do things, I decided to step up to this challenge.  I think what I am most afraid of is people thinking I am as broken as I think I am.

We all have a history, and we all have baggage.  Some physical, some financial and some emotional.  I think emotional baggage is the worst of all of them.  At the end of the day, I know that it is me that I have to live with.  And often times at the end of the day, I don't like who I see in the mirror.  I still smile everyday and try to be positive but  inwardly I have let my emotional baggage damage me. I am in fact, broken.

In all fairness, I am responsible for my brokenness (well most of it anyway).  They say that people that live in glass houses shouldn't throw rocks. I repeatedly, and I do mean repeatedly throw rocks at my own glass house.  I constantly, tell myself that I am not pretty enough, skinny enough...blah, blah, blah...I am not enough.

  Photo Credit

There are many factors that actually went into me being broken in the first place.  The hardest one for me to admit is Domestic Violence.  I was one of those people that swore I would never be in a situation like that.  I would never tolerate someone to treat me that way.  I was wrong! You never really know how you are going to react to a situation until you are in it...and by the time I realized I was in it.  I was stuck.  My ex was not physically abusive, though at times I wonder if that would have been easier to swallow.  Not that I condone physical violence, I just think it might have been easier than the mental racket-ball he played with my head. 

The short version of the story goes.  We met on a online dating site, talked for several months before meeting in person.  He was amazing, kind, gentle and well spoken.  Looking back there were red flags, but I wrote them off and believed what he was telling me.  Once he asked me to marry him, things changed.  He stole my phone, my truck keys...but mostly, he stole my sparkle.  I was so afraid of what he would do if I ended things that I kept in contact.  Eventually, I did call it off (kinda).  I still kept contact, again somehow I felt safer knowing where his mind was.  Throw in some breaking my things, and a few gun incidents....and you have protection orders and us going to trial.

He had a record for violent behavior that I had no idea about.  And while this incident happened in June 2011, we are still waiting to go to trial.  I had high hopes for 2012 being the end of this chapter, it wasn't.  I had anticipated starting 2013 "fresh and sparkly"  that didn't happen.  While we are set for trial this week, I have little faith, it has been pushed out so many times.  

So I guess besides people thinking that I am as broken as I think I am, I don't want to be looked at as a victim. I refuse to be his victim.  It is a struggle everyday, it causes me to emotionally shut down when things get stressful.

In 2013, I will do the Spartan Sprint (which scares me to death). I will no long throw rocks at my house.  I will surround myself with people who build me up, not tear me down.  I will focus on building people up as well.

I know that I will never be the same as I was...but I can be better.  I WILL BE BETTER.

Black Diamond Cemetery

Black Diamond's Historic Cemetery is located at 24431 Morgan Street.

The city-owned Black Diamond Cemetery, founded in 1884, sits on Cemetery Hill Road, hidden by a row of trees and marked by a wooden sign erected by local Scouts.

The cemetery has more than 1,200 graves, giving visitors a sense of the cultural diversity and tragedy that existed in Black Diamond when coal mining was at its peak. Tombstones mark graves of residents who came from Wales, Italy, Australia, Russia, Germany and many other countries.

Mayor Howard Botts says a Civil War veteran is buried there, as are many children who died in the early 1900s in epidemics of small pox and the flu. At least half a dozen graves mark those of mine workers who died in explosions in 1902, 1910 and 1915.

The cemetery was added to the National Register of Historic Places in April 2000.

data from http://www.ci.blackdiamond.wa.us/Depts/PubWorks/cemetery.html

My visit took place on February 4, 2012, we were in the area for a benefit dinner.  When the dinner was over, it was suggested that we go to the Cemetery.  While I didn't have my "good" camera, I couldn't pass up the chance to go!

So my visit to the Black Diamond Cemetery was an interesting one, that is for sure.  While it wasn't my first time there (I had gone on field trips there in elementary school), it was my first visit at night. Growing up I heard stories of the cemetery being haunted by miners and such. I fully believe in ghosts and spirits but don't think that I would want to encounter one in the middle of the night.

On this night we encountered a few people who were at the cemetery looking for ghosts, they seemed a bit put off that I was simply there to take pictures. To each their own.

This is one of my favorite marker from the visit.  Morgan W. Morgans Born December 9, 1900 and died August 26, 1902.  Not even two year years old. 

I love the intricate details

A few of the plots have been separated by fencing, it really is amazingly beautiful.

Some of the headstones were slightly overgrown, and seemed to try to hide from attention.  These always seem to catch my eye.

I am always partial to the markers that have pictures, though you can barely see the name on this grave.  The smiling face catches your eye and demands your attention.

Temperature Lo 41° 

While the temperature this time of year is commonly in the 30-40 degree range, typically I wouldn't post what it is, because it is irrelevant.  However, in this instance it plays into my odd experience at the cemetery.  Like I said earlier, I had attended a benefit dinner earlier and was wearing some awfully uncomfortable shoes.  I proceeded to take them off when we got to the cemetery, I walked and took pictures for the better part of an hour. 

Strangely, my feet were not cold, not even a little bit.  In fact, they were warm to the touch.  Anyone that knows me, knows that my feet are ALWAYS freezing.  How is it that I could walk around barefoot for nearly an hour and my feet be warm?  I should say that my companion on this adventure said his feet were freezing cold.  And was surprised that my feet were so warm to the touch.

I have never had an experience like that before, but it was odd. 

Honestly, I can't wait to go back to the Black Diamond Cemetery in the day time.  It was a great night adventure.